Indie Rock Law #100 – Sell out

Sell out.

All good things have endings, and after awhile, even the most indie of indie bands needs to pay a medical bill or something. That’s when you have no choice but to sell out. There’s nothing poetic or beautiful about it, and no amount of blogs or Myspace bulletins explaining your decision can change your fans’ new perception of you.

All you can do is sign the dotted line, sigh, and move on.

But deep down in their vintage flannel-covered hearts, at least a few of your fans will know that you’re still the same person writing the same songs. And for those people, indie never fades, no matter how many dumb trends they have to wade through to find the good stuff.

Indie Rock Law #99 – Keyboard/moog parts can fix a bad song

Keyboard/moog parts can fix a bad song.

We all know that most lead guitarists just don’t have the chops to make a song stand out. Sure, they can double up the rhythm guitar part like nobody’s business, but when it comes time to solo … well. Well, yeah.

So the fix is to find a (fe)male to play a keyboard/synth/moog/whatever they’re calling it these days part when your songs become too boring. Instantly you’re set apart from the pack and sound more interesting. And you have solved the problem of not having a woman in the band!

Indie Rock Law #98 – Write an “advice” song

Write an “advice” song.

As discussed several times in this blog, indie artists must make money from time to time. One way to make money is to write an “advice” song that ends up receiving radio airtime. The trick is to make sure that the song isn’t so enjoyable that the new radio crowd starts showing up at your shows (then your fans would know what you’ve been doing!)

As for the content of the lyrics, any overly positive nonsense about “what life’s about,” “what it takes,” or the strange phenomenon that is “happiness.”

Indie Rock Law #97 – Talk trash about every band you play with

Talk trash about every band you play with.

Trust me, the cool kids talk trash.

Some key phrases:

• “They suck live”
• “They play the same set every night”
• “No wonder they’re not signed”
• “We’re way better than them. Every other band on the bill tonight is better than them!”

Indie Rock Law #96 – Singer-songwriters shall use a capo

Singer-songwriters shall use a capo.

You’ve learned your G, C, D, A … well, I guess that’s it … chords. You’re sticking with them. I mean, who has time to learn more chords?

The capo is the best way to make your songs sound bright, interesting, and dare I say … original … without having to learn new chords. So put a harmonica around your neck, grab a capo, and sing about the war. You’ve got a coffee shop to play.

Indie Rock Law #95 – Release a pay-what-you-want album

Release a pay-what-you-want album.

There’s nothing more hip than letting your fans “pay what they want” for your album. They can pay nothing! They can pay $230! It’s a great way to build word of mouth for your release, and you will most likely make you as much money as you would make for a normal release.

It’s kind of like going green, maybe? Most people don’t do it correctly, but it has potential.

Indie Rock Law #94 – List influences from every band you’ve ever heard of

List influences from every band you’ve ever heard of.

If you’re in a pop-punk band (we’ve talked about the dangers of this before, by the way), there’s no reason you can’t cite Muse, The Smiths, and Bob Dylan as influences. Sure, it makes no sense, but that’s okay.

The point of listing influences isn’t to explain your sound to your audience; it’s to show your audience how cool you are. Yes, you play radio friendly pop songs … but you can still listen to Fugazi with the best of them!

Indie Rock Law #93 – Offer your fans awesome financial opportunities

Offer your fans awesome financial opportunities.

As discussed in Indie Rock Law #91, it’s tough to make money in an indie rock band. So you have to be resourceful if you want to eat a meal from time to time.

One way to be resourceful is to offer your fans opportunities to pay for things like putting their names in the liner notes of the album, financing the recording, or better yet … meeting you … the band!

Perhaps you’ll think of new ways to be resourceful. These are merely suggestions!

Indie Rock Law #92 – Have two drummers at your live shows

Have two drummers at your live shows.

Just like the uptight businessman who only responds to stats and numbers, music can be a numbers game for the untrained music-listener. With this type of fan, you’ll have to show them. Have two drummers on stage and watch the crowd stare in amazement at ALL OF THE DRUMMING.

It generally doesn’t add that much to the sound, but making an oblivious crowd realize how interesting you are musically should make the two drummers completely worth it.